I have a great ability to improvise verbally, and I am very funny on a dime.

I know California isn’t a real destination. You can’t get there from New Jersey, not simply by following a line drawn on a map. The process of arrival is more subtle and complex. It involves acts of contrition. You must appease the gods. You must find novel forms of penance. You must tattoo your children and look at the wonder. It’s about conjuring and awakening and intuitions you wish you never had.

Now I know all city parks are the same. Hyde Park. The bluffs above Santa Monica. The Tuileries. Just paths beneath trees where people walk in varying states of heartbreak. Staggering between divorces and biopsies. And at the edge, one final row of lavender azaleas.

I write a lot by sound. One sound leads me to another. These sounds aren’t random; they have their own logic.

It’s not platinum, which suggests constellations and redemption. It’s another yellow entirely. Asthma yellow. It comes from rotting petals and camera flashes that permanently scar your face. It leaks from clusters of stucco that remind me of blisters and lumps you get on your lips from kissing the wrong people.

It occurred to her, suddenly, that the Chinese took poets as concubines. Their poets slept with warlords. They wrote with gold ink. They ate orchids and smoked opium. They were consecrated by nuance, by birds and silk and the ritual birthdays of gods and nothing changed for a thousand years. And afternoon was absinthe yellow and almond, burnt orange and chrysanthemum. And in the abstract sky, a litany of kites.

Like I’m dragging bundles of old clothes? I’m carrying artifacts that breathe fire. I’m talking about a language of smoke. These are three-dimensional creatures that can mate. I’d no more leave them go by the side of the trail than I would my child. I’ll carry them until someone amputates my arms.

Whenever I get lost in a novel I just throw a poem in. What it does is flare up, and it’s so illuminated that I’m able to see where to go. I write between these illuminations.

I’ve always lived here, by the sea. I was a beach brat. I was born riding the peak of a crest of a wave. I was born with salt in my eyes. No, I mean it. I was conceived right down there on that beach. Six years old and surfing. It’s all that sea in me. That’s what makes my eyes change color. I’ve got waves inside. The ocean runs through me, man.

To be one woman, truly, wholly, is to be all women. Tend one garden and you will birth worlds.